I took an unplanned leave of absence from Heidielka at the end of last week. I would say it was from life in general, but I had a pre-promised catering role at a neighbour’s engagement party, so I did venture out on Saturday, albeit very unwillingly.
So what happened? Long story short, the aide I was receiving through the Australian Government’s NEIS (New Enterprise Incentives Scheme) was cut due to stupid admin errors, and a minor date issue. In English, my weekly income, care of government support, is no longer and my dedicated mentor taken away. My savings are also non-existent, after a year of medical mayhem, leaving me with no way to support my business outside a full time job. A full time job which will prevent me dedicating the time I need to my business. Ergo, Entrepreneur Heidielka has been shelved in favour of Desperately Job Hunting Heidielka.
To say this was a kick in the guts would be an understatement. Coming during a week when I was weaning myself off anti-depressants and seriously PMSing (sorry guys), I became a puddle of woe. Six year old me would have considered running away the most suitable solution. Twenty-nine year old me couldn’t afford it.
Instead, I spent my Friday baking sweets for engagement celebrations, my Saturday with a painted on smile making nice with the neighbours, and my Sunday figuring out how to make my fifteen-hour pay packet cover costs, until I find a more considerable income Or a leprechaun—anyone got a spare?
I also cried a lot. Alone, in my room, when no-one was looking, because I’ve learnt, from past knock-downs, that when something hurts you have every right to grieve. Oftentimes you need to grieve—it’s what allows you to get back up so quickly, and start again.
And so I have. I’m back in Webland, and feeling my way back into the real world as well. I’m looking for jobs, and have decided that this is the perfect time to make use of my sewing skills and fill my Etsy store with something other than cobwebs. I’m not giving up on my little business endeavour, just popping it to the side until finances are a little more flush.
And I’ve realised that I’m pretty resilient, and that’s a really good quality to have in an Entrepreneur’s arsenal. So here’s to resilience—just because you’re down, doesn’t have to mean you’re out for the count.