Resolute: February’s Five

Made by moi, using this vector.

Made by moi, using this vector.

Time for February’s Resolutions! Now, of course, I’m still kicking on with January’s (and have been doing mighty fine on them the past few days, if I do say so myself), but I also have to get cracking with a few more so I can get this list sorted by year’s end. Now, just because it’s my birthday month, doesn’t mean I’m going to be taking it easy on myself. In fact, I think this month’s are some of the hardest, especially in terms of maintaining long-term.

So, here’s February:

Way back, sometime in our late teens, Wabi and I both decided we were going to get a tattoo one day. Not too be cool—we’ve never really been the hippest cats (as evidenced by this sentence). I can’t speak for Wabi, but for me tattoos are a really unique piece of artwork that displays something about you as a person. They are also permanent, so unlike your hair colour or clothing style, they can’t just be changed, leaving an etched memory of you forever (or until you decide to remove it, I guess).

Because there is such permanence, a tattoo was never going to be something I just jumped into, especially when I was well aware how inconsistent and scattered I am. While I’ve been wanting a tattoo for a very long time, I wanted to wait until I was one hundred percent convicted about what I wanted the tattoo to be, and I think I’m finally at that point. I still have to sort out an artist, and get a design done, but I know what I want my tattoo to mean, and what I want it to say about me. And, I figure, what’s a big birthday for if not doing something a little crazy, right?

This one’s a little airy, but something I really want to achieve. I think, these days, because we live so much of our lives at a hectic pace, and spend so much time in virtual reality, we have lost a level of awareness of both ourselves and our surroundings. I know I’m nowhere near as aware of things going on in my local area as I would have been when I was a kid. Which is troubling, because I should be more aware now than I was then. I also know that I’ve been caught off-guard by people’s reaction to me, or by my reaction to them a lot more. I used to be very adept at picking up on other’s emotions, and reading their needs. I know this has been altered a lot by less interaction with people, but it’s also because while I’ve been ill, I’ve been much more self-involved.

No more blinders this year, though. I don’t want to be one of those people that is constantly surprised by other’s actions and reactions. I want to know my community, and work to make it better and more interesting. And I also want to continue to learn about myself, and become aware of my bodies likes and dislikes, so I can keep moving forwards instead of stumbling backwards.

This one’s a fun one, but also one I’m implementing as a bit of emotional exercise. I’m an anxious bunny. I stress so much that I’ve clenched and ground my teeth to within inches of their lives. My ultimate stress relieve is water, especially the beach. Ideally, I’d love to be living at the coast where I could decompress with a walk on the beach at the end of the day, but that’s not really an option right now. Cooking is the next best option when it comes to calming down, but it doesn’t sit well with the need to drop some weight, because I end up “tasting” everything.

Enter crafting, alternative go-to stress relief. I don’t love all crafts, but sewing, knitting, and crocheting take me to a happy place. I love coming up with an idea, and turning it into an actual something. I love that a pretty piece of fabric can miraculously become a cute skirt. And the whole process has this bizarre pacifying effect on my jitters, that leaves me feeling accomplished and ready to take on the world. Added bonus: I get cute clothes and soft furnishing to keep for myself or lavish on friends.

This is another one of those “taking better care of myself” things. You see, I suck at mornings. Everything is so much sorer, stiffer, and hurtier of a morning, which makes me super slow. This makes either super rushed, super late, or super hungry because I end up skipping breakfast to get everything else sorted. The problem with this is it screws with my head, leaving me feeling faint and fuzzy. It’s also really bad for weight loss to skip meals, especially breakfast.

So, this month I’m going to try my darnedest to eat brekkie every day. Whether it’s a full-out feast, or just a quickie smoothie, the aim is to ensure there is something in my belly within an hour of waking. I’m hoping that starting strong in the mornings will help me work my way through the day eating responsibly, and looking after myself better.

Okay, to start with, I’m not a mean person. I swear. But, like most girls, I do have a bitchy sass-mouth in me. She’s a nasty piece of work, who loves to use words to cuss out her foe, and is always much worse at a particular time of the month. I don’t like her. I want her to go away. So I’m working on not letting her come out to play as much. I guess this kind of sits with last month’s goal of letting things go as well, because a lot of the bitchiness is pure anger or jealousy at people that have wronged me. Whatever the reason, it’s a trait I find really ugly, and one I definitely want to reduce.

So, less name-calling, more forgiveness, and a good helping of humility for me. I’m also going to have to work on controlling my temper, and staying calm. Most importantly, I gotta, gotta try a little tenderness!

So that’s February. Wish me luck!


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